It hardly seems real that mom is gone.

But don’t be alarmed, friends.  I am fully aware and rejoice in the fact that to be absent from the body means undoubtedly that mom is present with Almighty God today.  My faith reassures me of this truth every single day, and day by day, I’m getting okay . . . yet I’m still dealing with her loss daily and the fact that I can’t pick up the phone and call her or receive one of her texts early in  morning. . . . Yes, it still hurts, but surprisingly, kind of, I’m truly at peace this morning ~~

I got tickled when I woke up though thinking about mom’s birthday being today, and quite honestly (and my students will tell you) that I was even dreading this day coming a little because I knew it would be wrought with memories.  However, my heart leapt with joy as it occurred to me that the little birthday plans I may have had for mom today are no match for the Holy Ghost party she’s having in Glory with our Lord and Savior!  Ha!  No one can throw a birthday bash like our Lord can!  We simply cannot compete with that down here!  For surely, the heavenly hosts are serenading her celestially and bestowing gifts bountifully upon her even now – December 8th, when she would have joined the 73-year-old club with daddy – much much better than I, Daddy, Rick or anyone else on this side of heaven could ever think or imagine to do for her, even as much as we love her!

I just miss her, that’s all.  I still miss having the opportunity to call her early this morning to sing “Happy Birthday” and looking forward to having lunch with her at the Grandover a little later today – because she had already told me months ago that she wanted us to get massages on today and to have a late lunch afterward.  That was momma . . . always planning forward ~~

As I think on her this morning, I get blessed over and over again as I relish in knowing that she was always thinking about me and my well being.  And I realize that my words may read with some redundancy there, but I know what I’m saying . . . she thought about and prayed for me as if a ritual.  Daddy can confirm this as he was and is too.

Mom often scheduled massages and planned outings and retreats for me even without my permission, her rationale being, “I didn’t start really taking care of myself until my 50s.   I don’t want your body to end up like mine.  Start now taking care of yourself.  If you don’t do it for yourself, no one else will.”  She was concerned like that about my body, my mind, and my soul.  For example, she would find women’s conferences that I needed to attend to hone my leadership skills, or grant writing workshops and prayer retreats, and so on; I had been inactive with my sorority for several years, but she insisted that I reconnect with my Sorors because I would need them and they needed me — so she paid my fees to return to active status with Delta a little over six years ago.  Mom just knew me.  She knew that getting additional credentials or learning a new skill set or strengthening my “spirit wo-man” inside would equip me and prepare me for anything personally or professionally that I may encounter.  It was when I hesitated or said I was too busy that her response would many times be to go ahead and make whatever appointments or make whatever reservations, send me an email or text in the middle of the night to give me a piece of her mind first about myself or whatever situation I was facing, and then tell me to put such and such event on my calendar . . . that she would keep the kids if necessary . . . but ultimately, I was going wherever or to do whatever thing I was to do because in her words, “It was part of my destiny.”

Many of us out there in Lillieland know this about her; she cared about our well being.  She would ask every now and again, “How’s your soul?”  What she knew and could often recognize in us were perhaps dreams deferred, or the fact that we were hiding behind the shadows or excuses of our true calling, or that we may have been bound or oppressed by circumstances beyond our control or of our own making or complicity . . . she sensed it in us because she was always praying for us . . . her relationship with God was such that He would reveal things to her in the spirit.  And mom was one to act upon the promptings of the Holy Spirit – in wisdom and grace.  God trusted her with that responsibility because she knew how to worship Him in spirit and truth.

My pastor talked about Old Testament methods of worship just this past Sunday, which he shared, always included the burning of incense to prepare a space and to mark a place of worship to God.  Wherever there was incense, folks were worshipping God.  Well, mom was careful to have her place of worship in the house with her candles, her cross and her bible, and she would toil in that space and place tearfully, methodically, intentionally, religiously – every day, without fail, and that’s why, my dear friends, she was at peace with everything that was happening to her, especially, if not moreso, near the time of her demise.  No, it wasn’t always this way; she evolved over the years into these practices and with time she became more reverent and intentional because her life circumstances demanded it and her gift of discernment grew immensely.

This blog, entitled Blooming Lillies, is my gift to her today.  This will be a place where I’ll share with you my thoughts about mom and bring to you many of her thoughts about you and us weekly.  For you see, I have her journals in my possession now, her prayer materials, and all of her curriculum materials on and about ministry, leadership and coaching.  Unbeknownst to me, she was equipping me over the years to be certified in many of the programs she studied leaving a room full of resources behind.  The honor I feel right now is beyond words . . .

With me, then, her legacy will not die.  With my father and brother, her legacy will not die.  With you and your memories of her, her legacy will not die.  With her grandchildren and their children’s children, her legacy will not die because she deposited a little of herself in all of us.

I praise God for her and wish her the happiest of birthdays today ~~

You know what?  I just may go get that massage today and have lunch in her memory!!  Who’ll meet me?

I love it!  Be good to yourselves today, my friends.  Stop by a flower shop or go by a garden today, and pick up a lily ~~

I’ll talk with you again next Tuesday.

In love and charity,

Giselle