During the days following mom’s death, I did what most would do . . . I sought after her presence.  I longed for her scent, for her essence . . . I needed her close to me.  Staying on Cedrow with daddy that week made it easier.

Rumbling through her closet, I found several housecoats . . . it was the purple one, which was the thickest of them all, that I wrapped around me.  On the floor on her side of the bed, I found her comfy black houseshoes and slipped them on.  Then I sat in her chair beside the bed.  I have always loved that chair . . . it was beautifully laced with her late mother’s blankets draped across the back of it and the cushion was slightly elevated with a contoured pillow that daddy bought to help with her lower back pain since the two surgeries this summer.  This quaint, yet prodigious chair was nestled comfortably between the dresser and the bed.  A nightstand stood awkwardly behind this set up, but mom had everything situated the way she needed it as this was her sanctuary.  Her place of peace.  She prayed there, she got work done there, she made phone calls and did her coaching there.  Adorned in those garments that used to comfort her, I now sat listening for her voice.

I went back through my phone to listen to old voice messages; I read through old texts and went all the way back to 2014, but now, tearfully reading back through them, certain messages really stood out to me.  As I mentioned at mom’s homegoing celebration on November 3rd, she had been preparing me for this moment all year, off and on, with short clips of messages about how to treat people, about accountability and stewardship, how to conduct my business, how to manage my home and kids, and so forth.  In my spirit as I sat in that chair, I uttered to myself, “My, my, my.  Look at this.”

One particular message was glaring though.  I remembered it as Rick and I sat at mom and dad’s kitchen table while we were up early planning mom’s funeral service:  “Bloom where you’re planted.”  Mom sent that text to me when I shared with her an issue I had on my job where, at that time, I didn’t feel valued and appreciated for the particular work I was doing, and I had been promised an upper level position but was denied that opportunity.  Like most young, impetuous folks do when they get disgruntled and feel rejected, I too wanted to start looking for other work, for another job . . . I wanted to be in an environment where I could flourish, move up, and be able to work in my giftings.  But mom, in her quiet resolve and wisdom simply responded:

Slowing down after receiving that advice and analyzing the whole situation on my job, I found that I had misread the other party’s interaction with me.  I was also told the reason why elevation was not realistic given the school’s situation at that time, and with an open and candid conversation, the matter was resolved literally in minutes.   Then I had to start acting like a big girl, like the professional I had been groomed to be, and to choose to operate with a different mindset.  With a different set of factors facing me, I had to resolve in my spirit to be content, to stop making plans to leave and to bloom where the Lord had planted me.  I actually do impact the lives of students where I am.  I actually do have purpose where I am.  I am actually making a difference right now.  I would have missed this realization about myself if I hadn’t stopped to assess my own worth.  I didn’t (or don’t at present) need valuation or validation from others to know this about myself.  I will continue to trust God for whatever elevation or movement comes next if that becomes the case.

I shared that moment with Rick, and he too said that mom had several times given him the same advice.  In this day and age, we miss opportunities because we’re always rushing to try to get to the next “big thing,” to the promotion we feel we deserve, to the upgrade in house or car before we can truly afford it.   We stay in fast forward mode most of the time which keeps us from the job we’re supposed to be doing in the present, from true relationships we could be cultivating and nurturing, from listening to people (not just “hearing” them) and being cognizant of situations/our environments around us.  We’re missing many important things.  We’re having to repeat lessons that the Lord is trying to teach us over and over again until something . . . like the loss of a loved one, or an illness, or bankruptcy, or divorce, or something else that literally shakes our foundation or defies our logic  . . . to stop us in our tracks to get our attention.

Both of us desired to know where this tremendous philosophy of life came from.  Knowing our mother the way we did, we knew it was scriptural.  The word of God says this:

1 Corinthians 7:17, 21-24

¹⁷ Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

²¹ Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you— although if you can gain your freedom, do so. ²² For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. ²³ You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. ²⁴ Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

So this is my message to you today and this week:

Bloom where you are planted in life right now.  Don’t rush your lives away.  Dwell and worship where you are.  Life is fleeting, yet it’s precious.  Put the remote control down in your life; slow down, and like my dad says, “Listen with your eyes and see with your ears.”

Be good to yourselves, and know that Lillie and I love you ~~

In love and charity,

Giselle